Lab Guys
by Helen Faulkner
Summary: The lab technicians are not only science nerds they can sing and dance as well.


**A short one off fiction that's been in my head a while featuring the lovely Greg and his lab mates. The story is set early on around about season 1 or 2 hence the choice of lab techs.**

**As always I do not own CSI, Greg or the song Bad Guys from Bugsy Malone.**

**Please forgive my spelling and grammer, I never really mastered that aspect of English.**

**Oh and review please so I know if it's worth publishing my other short stories.**

Lab Guys!

"So Greg, what have you got planned for the talent show tonight? I heard you and the other lab techs had been working on something special" Catherine leaned on the young DNA techs bench and used her most beguiling smile to get the information that Nick, Warrick and Sara had already failed to obtain despite their best interrogation efforts.

Greg smiled "You'll just have to wait and see like everyone else" he replied slyly, only briefly looking up from the sample he was preparing. The lab techs secret performance was the talk of the CSI building and according to some the highlight of the entire evening or was that a rumour that Greg himself had started to spark his friends' inquisitive nature.

The talent show was a yearly event, a kind of team building evening where all of the counties law enforcement officers would get together and perform for each other. There was a nominal entry fee for participants and any funds raised from the sale of food or drink would be put towards much needed equipment or training courses that the state refused to pay for.

No-one could really remember how the talent part had started, probably a police officer or CSI who had wanted to show his friends an act that had been popular and which had developed into an evenings entertainment.

There was a certain amount of competition between groups taking part; although no prises were given and most people expected the police choir and brass band to once again be the recipients of the loudest and longest applause.

Of course most people had never seen an act by Gregory Hojem Sanders; new to the department, the young blonde DNA technician had easily fitted into the group with his care-free laid back attitude and infectious smile and it had not been difficult to persuade some of the other lab techs to join him on stage for 'the performance of the year.'

Finally it was time; in the make shift dressing room Greg Sanders, David Phillips, Archie Johnson, and Mandy Webster pulled on their costumes and checked their props.

"I cannot believe you convinced me to do this." Mandy moaned, she felt ridiculous, how had he got her to agree to stand up in public and make a fool of herself. She was a lab tech for a reason, so she could work out of the public eye.

"Aw come on Mandy, it'll be fun" Greg retorted using the mirror to check that his hair was still spiked up just right

"They are going to laugh at us" Mandy continued.

"You never mentioned people laughing." David squeaked nervously clearing his throat.

"I said they'd like it. Anyway if they do laugh it's because they like us right?" Greg tried to band his group back together. He knew deep down that they would all perform with him, they had promised and all of them were loyal to their promises but the nerves were setting in and he could see that both David and Mandy were wondering why they had agreed.

"Well I think it will be great. Come on guys, if we really want to recreate the scene it has to be four people and it's not like we look any different from normal" Archie joined his DNA buddy, he was definitely up for this, laughter and applause or not, he thought his friends plan for a show was brilliant.

"I suppose…" Mandy looked down at her outfit and sighed nervously before smiling "You only live once right?" she added.

"How about you David, you in?" Greg asked nervously. The coroner was usually quite shy, and the young blonde was surprised he had agreed so readily when he had approached him about it. Maybe he had felt obliged, Greg knew he could be a bit full on sometimes.

"Come on Dave, if I can do it you can" Mandy rested her hand on the young man shoulder and smiled gently. Dave nodded quietly; he had said he would do it so somehow he would.

On stage the announcer for the evening stepped up on stage clapping "A big thank you to the traffic cops for their rendition of blow my whistle baby. I will personally never think of a police whistle in the same way…. Next we have a new entry for this year may I present to you the Lab Guys!..." as he stepped off the stage the familiar music started to play and the group of four lab technicians dressed in their everyday blue lab coats and led by Greg danced their way on to the stage and faced their audience.

We could've been anything that we wanted to be  
But don't it make your heart glad  
That we decided, a fact we take pride in  
We became the best guys in the lab

We could've been anything we wanted to be  
With all the talent we had  
No doubt about it, no need to gloat about it  
We're the very best at being lab guys

We're an asset to the cause  
DNA, AV, printing help to even up the score  
Lab guys, we're the very best  
Each of us exceptional, we legitimise arrests  
We make sure the bad guys get interred  
We're the very best at being nerds

We could've been anything we wanted to be  
We took the easy way out  
With little training, we mastered attaining  
perfect matches on all queries  
We're so good, it's almost scary

We could've been anything that we wanted to be  
With all the talent we had  
With little practice, every problem we'll untwist  
We're the very best in the crime lab  
We're the very best in the crime lab  
We're the very best in the crime lab

As they sang the last line the group danced off the stage and into the dressing room to recover from their performance hearing only the roar of the crowd and wolf whistles from both Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown.

"We did it, we actually did it!" Mandy jumped up and down, slinging her arms around Greg's neck and forcing him to jump up and down with her; else get his nose hit by her lab specs.

David slumped into a chair, looking flushed and yet also quite pale "You ok Dave?" Greg asked stopping jumping.

"Oh yes… yes." The junior coroner replied nervously

"Sure?" Greg asked, this reaction worried him slightly

"You know I have never done anything like that, just get up on stage and perform or do anything to make myself stand out. I was scarred before I went on but somehow once the music started and you started leading us on stage I forgot about the people and just really enjoyed myself" David quickly tried to explain.

"If it makes you feel better I was just as nervous, I'm just really good at hiding it" Greg grinned back.

"The audience really liked us though" Archie added ginning from ear to ear "Did you hear that applause?"

"And the shouts" Mandy added

"And the whistles" David smiled, feeling better now that he knew it was ok to be nervous.

Changing back into their ordinary clothes the lab techs made their way back into the hall and over to the Crime labs tables where their friends and colleagues sat.

"Well done guys!" Sara gushed, the wine making her a little tipsy.

"Yeah definitely worth waiting for" Catherine agreed.

"So tell me Greg" Nick wrapped his arm around the young man's shoulders "We're so good it's almost scary? And what was it before that each of us exceptional…." the Texan gave his buddy a look as if to say how vain are you thinking you're the bee's knees and that it's the lab techs that solve all the crimes.

"Have you any idea how hard it is to make things rhyme with that song!" Greg retorted giving his buddy as serious a look as he could muster. "Anyway we are the best lab techs, that's why you guys look so good" he added failing to duck as a bread roll was thrown at him.

Later that night as Greg walked home he couldn't help smiling and humming to himself "We're the very best at being lab guys…."


End file.
